Verbal Abuse: Relationship Hand Grenades

Talking mean, saying bad things, making accusations, throwing guilt, and blaming is like throwing hand grenades into a fire. You are just begging for trouble.

One man kept staying in a dysfunctional relationship based on the rationale that he loved her. He kept saying this over and over to himself and thus kept himself in a relationship where he was constantly the target. She threw nothing but nasty, harsh accusations at him. Was this some kind of neurotic masochism, a need to be punished on his part? Or, was he guilty of doing some very nasty things himself and felt unworthy of being treated decently? Remember, your words and your physical behavior communicate a lot and have a deep effect on your relationships.

Let me ask you this question: Are you carrying around Emotional Baggage from your past relationships and your childhood experiences? Nobody wants to deal with that. You will need to understand the powerful effect that words and metaphors have upon all relationships and subsequent behavior.

(I can teach you how to release yourself from values inherited from your past, that lock you into destructive and unworkable patterns. You can change things instantly if you are willing to take action.)

Speaking negatively and using such words as pig, idiot, stupid, abuser, bitch, crazy, etc. is destructive. Get these words out of your vocabulary and your conversations.

Let’s use a simple metaphor: “Be nice.” It is amazing what the positive power of reinforcement can do. If you foster the negative, the negative will grow. If you foster the positive, that will grow. If you believe in overusing the word, “Can’t”, then you will ultimately believe you can’t … and, you won’t.

(I can show you how to change your belief system, so that you can realize your full power and effectiveness.)

What comes out of your mouth determines the outcome. Whiners, complainers and fault finders slowly destroy a relationship. If he ain’t smiling, you’re not making him happy and vice versa. Ladies, did you know that the sexiest part of you is your smile? When you are smiling, he knows he is making you happy. If he is smiling and laughing, then you are making him happy. Negativity does not lead to safety, comfort and Security ... or a lasting relationship.

What do you communicate? Is it safety or danger? Remember that some people are never ready or well-prepared for an ecstatic relationship. What’s missing? My therapy programs can get you where you need to be.

You can learn from your mistakes. But, that’s the hard way. An easier way is to learn from the experts. You can enter into our full coaching and counseling program with individual sessions, or utilize our E-Therapy Program which will provide email support three times a week to get you through the rough times.

Contact me for more information at phannigphd@att.net and visit my website PsychotherapyHELP at www.psychotherapyhelp.com for more information.