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Arts & Entertainment

The Importance of Being Empathetic

Conflict is necessary in a Democracy. Empathy allows us disagree without tearing ourselves apart.

My Ex was a few months into her pregnancy with our first child when we started discussing baby names. My first contribution to the brainstorm was “Echo Echo,” and was immediately relegated to selecting the middle name. When she decided on “Justin” as a boy’s name, I selected “Case,” but we ended up having a girl. My daughter was given a middle name honoring the drummer of my favorite band.

Fast forward four years and we were eagerly awaiting the arrival of our second child. There was no question that I would be relegated to selecting the middle name again. Given my love of most things Disney, “Walt” seemed like an obvious choice, but there was something unsettling about what I knew about the man, especially about his record as an employer. I, therefore, looked elsewhere for a name deserving of my son.

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I was reminded of this decision making process as I caught up on back podcasts while swimming laps. Communicore Weekly focuses mainly on Disney history and theme park trivia, with an occasional feature on theme park bathrooms. In episode 63.5 one of the hosts interviewed Rolly Crump, a former Disney Imagineer and certified Disney Legend who had worked with Walt, during a live event for Disney aficionados.

It is quickly apparent in the interview that Rolly is extremely personable and an entertaining subject. His tales about his days at Disney and work on such classics as The Tiki Room and The Haunted Mansion endeared him to me as a fellow contrarian. He certainly did not seem constrained by the rules of political correctness. I decided on the spot that his autobiography, It’s Kind of a Cute Story, will be the book I read on my next vacation.

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Identifying with Rolly made his stories about Walt even more interesting to me. Before hearing these tales, I could not imagine working successfully in a creative environment with such a dominating personality, but Rolly did not seem to have that problem. He certainly understood the dangers he faced when crossing lines, but the Walt he knew appreciated the fact that he was willing to push the envelope and would just let things go when Rolly went too far.

This glimpse into Walt as a person let me appreciate him more but also got me thinking about the world in which we currently live. In our seemingly constant battle of red state versus blue state have we forgotten that we are arguing against people whose ideology is a result of their life experiences. We would be better served if we could disagree with one another’s politics without diminishing our personal journeys.

Recently Senator Rob Portman publicly changed his position on marriage for same-sex couples, stating that his son coming out to him had caused him to look at the issue differently. President Obama’s position has also evolved on the subject, in part because of his experience with members of his “staff who are in incredibly committed monogamous relationships, same-sex relationships, who are raising kids together.” Both of these men found it harder to back discriminatory policies once they had actual relationships with the people who would be affected.

Compare this to Hillary Clinton’s recent endorsement of same-sex unions. In her 2008 Presidential campaign, Hillary also opposed same-sex unions, but recently released a video in which said in part that she wished “every parent that same joy” that she felt when her daughter was recently married. Instead of focusing on our differences, she found a way to be empathic based on our common experiences, thus elevating same-sex marriage from a gay rights issue to one of human rights.

Empathy is not always considered a positive quality. After 9/11, looking for reasons why the terrorists attacked us was often confused with approving of the attacks. During the welfare debates under Clinton, exploring ways to prevent crime through programs like Midnight Basketball was equated with excusing criminal behavior. Today considering a pathway to citizenship is seen as disregarding the need for the rule of law.

No one who was born in the United States can say that they have shared the experience of poverty in a third world country. However, most of us know what it is like to feel unconditional love for a family member and the will to do anything to improve their lives. If we can feel this empathy, I think we have a better understanding of why someone would risk everything for a new life, even if it meant breaking the law. This would allow us to elevate them beyond the label of common criminal without condoning what they have done.

Looking at the issue from the other side, it cannot be denied that the large influx of immigrants has changed our society, both in good ways and bad. No one should understand how scary change can be more than people who have uprooted their entire lives. It should, therefore, be easy for this segment of society to empathise with those who fear the changes their presence has caused. If they did so, they might realize that holding protest signs worded only in Spanish serves to further alienate the people whose minds they must change.

Conflict is a necessary element of a Democracy and is healthy as long as it is rooted in the common goal of furthering the betterment of the country. Empathizing with our fellow man is a key component in keeping these conflicts from tearing us apart.


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